What would happen if you entered a retail store, removed an item or two from the shelf and then proceeded to walk past the cashier and out the door?
You’d be stopped, and chances are the store manager would’ve already alerted the police to report another shoplifting crime (unless you’re in leftist San Francisco, where they don’t bother prosecuting theft under a certain dollar amount). Upon responding to the call, the officers ask why you left the establishment without paying for the merchandise.
“Oh, it costs zero”, you answer. And you’re not even trying to be cleverer by half, either. If you listened to senile president Joe Biden’s explanation on the costs of his’ and congressional Democrats’ $3.5 trillion budget reconciliation welfare monstrosity the other day, you might believe that the government can engage in unlimited taxing and spending and it doesn’t cost anyone anything. Zilch. Nada. Zippo.
Biden’s told some tall tales in his career, but this one might take the cake. And he didn’t even seem to realize it.
“In a tweet from Sept. 25, Biden said: ‘My Build Back Better Agenda costs zero dollars. Instead of wasting money on tax breaks, loopholes, and tax evasion for big corporations and the wealthy, we can make a once-in-a-generation investment in working America. And it adds zero dollars to the national debt.’
“Biden’s statement is just patently absurd. Even granting arguendo Biden's dubious claim that the Build Back Better Agenda is ‘already paid for,’ this is wrong on numerous levels...
“This is just the latest in a string of lies Biden has been caught in the past few weeks. But there will be no special segments on Rachel Maddow or Don Lemon. James Acosta will not address the real cost of the BBB. Chris Cuomo (well, he has enough problems right now) won’t say the president is a factually challenged liar on his program. They know he is, but they just don’t care.”
I rarely act as a contrarian and dispute a mostly-correct assertion, but I don’t think that any of the aforementioned liberal media personalities understand senile Joe is lying about what his program costs. It’s true that they may not care, but all liberals suffer from the same delusion that huge government boondoggle spending doesn’t cost anything because it’s an “investment” that will pay off with… something… down the road.
When the “investment” fantasy combines with the equally dubious notion that hiking taxes on the “rich” will pay for everything, Democrats pass their own proverbial “laugh test” and say things in public that everyone but themselves knows isn’t true. That’s commonly referred to as a “lie”, but liberals don’t appear bothered by it.
The Bible notwithstanding, Democrats aren’t punished for their mendacious fib-telling. In fact, the more lies they tell, the more emboldened they feel to concoct even more. How do they do it? Here’s thinking it’s an exercise in groupthink. One lie leads to another and so on and so on and so on -- until everyone’s repeating the same thing and trusting it with a straight face.
Does Biden really believe what he says or is he merely repeating what he hears from advisors? That’s the real question. Here’s how senile Joe’s “It costs zero” whopper might’ve originated:
--Fresh off a haircut and a bath, president Joe Biden makes his way down a hallway in the White House West Wing. Urgently flagged down by a handler who’d been searching everywhere for him, the 46th president is ushered through a doorway with a hastily scribbled handwritten sign that reads “Lunchroom. Don’t you want some chow? Don’t forget to talk about the budget bill.”
Completely suckered by the ruse, Joe entered and uttered cluelessly to those in attendance, “Settle down, settle down! Those stressed out people out in the hallway said I needed to come in here and talk about my ‘Build Back More Better’ program, though they lied and said it was the lunchroom. Anyway, I ordered a meal to be delivered so we gotta get this wrapped up before the delivery dude gets here. I don’t do hard business when I’m eating. It makes swallowing the baloney sandwich all the more difficult.”
“Um sir,” a woman in the corner interjected. “Your whole domestic agenda is called ‘Build Back Better’, not ‘Build Back More Better.’ That doesn’t make sense, sir.”
“Whatever,” Biden shot back, irritated at being corrected for the trillionth time. “Okaaaayyyyy, people, how’re we gonna sell this to the public? Who wants to go first?” Biden queried the semi-packed and suddenly silent room.
Right then several hands shot up with non-recognizable mouths shouting “Ooo! OOO! OOH! Pick me, pick me!” in Arnold Horshack-like fashion (from “Welcome Back Kotter” fame).
Since Joe didn’t know -- or remember (since he’s losing his short-term memory by the hour) -- most of the sharply dressed and highly paid consultants competing for his attention, he settled on one familiar face that he surmised would be kind to him. “How about you there? What does my chief of staff call you?”
“Say, aren’t you Indian-American? I once said you couldn’t go into a Seven-Eleven or a Dunkin Donuts without a slight Indian accent. I wasn’t joking. We should be chums!”
Biden’s attempt at humor fell flat, which visibly annoyed him. “Alrighty-then, Kamala” Joe said, butchering the pronunciation of his vice president’s name as he always does. “You appear to be a woman and a minority, so your ideas must be great, without the slightest hint of dialect or systemic racism. What do we need to convince the hicks and foul-reeking white supremacist masses that a steaming pile of government crap actually smells sweeter than a garden full of fragrant flowers? How do we fool’ ‘em today?”
“Simple, Joe. We’ll tell ‘em it costs zero,” Kamala giggled in response.
Even Biden couldn’t believe his ears and he subconsciously tapped his head twice with his left hand to “reboot the system” just the way his dad used to kick the TV in the old days whenever its signal unexpectedly died out, leaving nothing but static and a hum that crackled so loud it could’ve stemmed from a campfire.
‘I can still hear that sweet sound of static’ Joe thought to himself, a smile crossing his façade as he recalled with fondness the post-WWII days when television was brand new and it couldn’t always be relied upon to work properly. Those present interpreted Biden’s distant-looking facial expression as either him enjoying a pleasant memory or more likely the onset of unreleased gas like an infant too young to hold it in.
Only Joe’s “reboot” didn’t work this time. Biden recognized the sincerity on Kamala’s beaming brow as she continued to advocate for her latest inane brainstorm. “Think about it,” Harris caught herself in mid-sentence when she realized that her boss wasn’t capable of ‘thinking’ about anything, so she instinctively rephrased. “Imagine it, Joe. You can give a speech where we’ll write ‘IT COSTS ZERO’ in large bold letters on a piece of paper and the teleprompter, and you can say with absolute confidence -- like someone who truly doesn’t know any better -- that the $3.5 trillion spending mish-mash won’t cost anyone anything.
“Come on, Joe, it’ll be fun!” Kamala went on enthusiastically, starting to get desperate at the lack of immediate affirmation from the blank staring Biden. “We’ve both been Democrats our whole lives and we’re used to instructing folks that government programs are actually good for them. So what that trillions were already dumped into Great Society and War on Poverty programs to no avail. The poor and ignorant Democrat-supporting African-American people I meet with are still grateful that the black family has been completely ruined and supplanted by the welfare state.
“Well, what do you say, Joe?”
Upon hearing Harris’s full explanation for her “It costs zero” hypothesis, Biden warmed to the notion. He raised his hand as if to signal an end to the meeting when some guy interrupted before he could dismiss the honks.
“Are you serious?” the man said disgustedly, not caring that he may get fired for talking common sense on the senile president’s lunch hour. “We can’t tell the American people that $3.5 trillion in taxing and spending won’t cost them anything.”
‘Working in this place sucks,’ the man thought to himself. ‘And they said Trump’s White House was stressful. At least they had real discussions with people who’d accomplished something in their lives. These scums are all hacks, Joe and the VP included.’
Shooting a disapproving glance at Kamala, Biden was confused. ‘First they tell me to go into this room and eat lunch, then these groupies are in here talking about budgets and costs and what Americans think and making life harder than it has to be.’
“I got it!” Joe bellowed excitedly. “I know, let’s call the Big O. He’ll know what to do.”
As if by magic, Barack Obama’s baritone voice filled the room via a speakerphone positioned in the middle of the conference table. Always hating to be interrupted, Obama was cranky and in no mood for male bovine excrement.
“Joe, you better not be calling me to ask for my birthday bash guest list again,” the former president pontificated in his best condescending tone, as though speaking to a bratty three-year-old. “I already told you, none of the attendees came down with COVID that night. And they’re all really sorry about not wearing masks, too. We fooled the hippy chumps -- we told ‘em the needles we passed around contained heroin, when really they were full of vaccine doses. I had a half dozen of ‘em myself and wondered why I was feeling sick instead of getting high.”
“Sorry, ‘ol bosom Obama administration pal,” Joe blubbered apologetically. “I’m actually calling to get your opinion on how to sell our gargantuan welfare program to the public. Kamala suggests that we just lie through our rear orifices and tell ‘em that it costs zero, and then there’s this bozo in here who thinks we should tell the truth. What would you do?”
Obama sighed. ‘How many times do I have to explain it to him?’ he wondered. “Joe, Kamala is a hundred times smarter than you, which admittedly isn’t saying much. But if she thinks we can get away with telling the voters that it doesn’t cost ‘em anything, then it’s really not any different than any other time when we’re pulling the wool over the deplorable bitter clingers’ eyes. Tell ‘em it costs zero, and then pretend like you know what you’re talking about.”
“Okee-dokee, will do, Barry.”
At that, Biden gestured toward the door, beckoning for the Democrat gaggle to exit and leave him by his lonesome to eat his lunch. As Kamala neared the doorway, Joe gave her a wink and mouthed “ZERO!” with a crooked grin and a thumbs up. She knew exactly what he was saying.
Such is life in Democrat-land.
-- As the days and weeks go by under the corrupted “leadership” of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, Americans are learning that the duo will say anything to cover themselves and get what they want. Telling Americans that $3.5 trillion adds up to zero is too stupid even for the elites to buy. Citizens have enough problems to solve because of incompetent government. Basic math isn’t one of them.
$3.5 trillion budget resolution
Budget costs zero dollars