Everyone knows in the horror movie genre that the monster (human or otherwise) never dies until the end -- and even then, will likely return to life in a sequel or worse yet, a series.
In other words, if it’s only halfway into the film’s listed running time and it appears the perpetrator has been permanently vanquished, you immediately realize that it’s an illusion and should prepare yourself for something pretty nasty and shocking when the thing resurfaces stronger and more determined than ever to kill. Filmmakers do this so it makes the brute seem invincible -- and the victims even dumber and more naïve than they first looked.
In this way, American politics is much the same as a horror flick. As soon as senile president Joe Biden’s Build Back (More) Better bill was pronounced dead a few weeks ago (when West Virginia Democrat Senator Joe Manchin announced his opposition to it), common sense -- and experience -- suggested that the concept, if not the bill itself, would return to our TV screens and newspaper columns like a resurrected rogue in a Hollywood production.
True to form, Democrats agreed among themselves to stop calling Manchin names and let the man alone for a while before returning to their non-stop begging and pestering campaign to force him to relent. And who do liberals count on to get Manchin to change his mind? None other than the faltering chief executive himself.
“Senate Democrats … say they expect President Biden to restart talks with holdout Sen. Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.) after a ‘cooling off’ period that will extend until the Senate finishes debate on voting rights legislation and rules reform.
“Senate Democrats agreed at a virtual lunchtime meeting [last week] that everyone in their caucus would take a deep breath and step back from the heated debate over Biden’s sweeping climate and social spending plan to give Manchin some space. Manchin told reporters … that there are ‘no negotiations going on at this time’ over Biden’s stalled ‘Build Back Better’ agenda.
“Democratic senators say they have agreed to a cooling off period to give Biden and Manchin time to restart the talks that collapsed after Manchin told ‘Fox News Sunday’ on Dec. 19 that he could not support the $1.75 trillion framework unveiled by the White House in October.”
We figured something like this would happen. Even someone as out of it as senile Joe wasn’t about to just sit back in the White House, twiddle his thumbs and wait for a token party member or GOP turncoat on Capitol Hill to come around on his legacy-making welfare bill. The odds of getting a Republicans to reverse him or herself in an election year (for some of them) are next to none, so it only made sense to try and restart the political romance with Joe Manchin, who still identifies as Democrat for the time being.
Like rabbits eating your expensive landscaping plants, Democrats don’t simply cease their pursuit of easy largesse after the loss of one or two votes. Instead, they multiply their efforts and sweeten the pot for the outcast(s). Or they threaten and intimidate like they’re doing to Manchin again over so-called “voting rights” and Chucky Schumer’s latest scheme to end the filibuster.
But why would either Manchin or Kyrsten Sinema reverse their position on the filibuster now? The procedural rule is what makes both of them parliamentary kingmakers and grants each the ability to give a yea or nay over aspects of legislation and simultaneously makes them news-generating darlings for the media. It also makes them popular with the people of their states, since polling shows that strong majorities favor keeping the 60-vote threshold intact.
Say Joe Manchin were to go out drinking one night with Chucky Schumer and the good ol’ gals and guys from his caucus. When morning arrives, he votes with the rest of ‘em to ditch the filibuster. All his negotiating leverage magically disappeared in that instant. Democrats stop checking with him for his input on bills going forward. Instead of begging Manchin to yield, they’re spotted with Lisa Murkowski or Mitt Romney, who listen to the voices in their RINO skulls and henceforth agree to support “voting rights” or “paid family leave” because they have no principles and mistakenly surmise it will benefit them personally.
Manchin enjoys the spotlight alone these days (not sure why Sinema turned so rapidly, but she’s no longer making headlines in university bathrooms, is she?). In addition to all the news media focus on the Democrats, Mitch McConnell and Republicans are regularly asked to comment on the likelihood of West Virginia Joe switching parties. It hasn’t been stated, but Manchin could write his own ticket in the GOP right now, couldn’t he?
Biden’s overtures to Manchin after the “cooling off” period isn’t likely to bear immediate fruit, though as watchful conservatives have hypothesized all along, the West Virginian will capitulate at some juncture. It’s up to Democrats to discover what Manchin’s breaking point happens to be. Everyone has his price. What’s it going to take?
We have no way of knowing what the two Joe’s (Biden and Manchin) will talk about when they chat once again, though it might sound a little -- or a lot -- like this:
--One afternoon at the White House, the president fidgets nervously in the Oval Office. Upon being informed that Joe Manchin is waiting on the line, the 79-year-old pushes a button and speaks:
“You know, Joe, I’ve always liked the name Joe,” Biden blubbered to the West Virginian of the same first name, trying to make Biden-esque small talk to fill the otherwise dead air. “Joes have verve. I didn’t know what the word ‘verve’ meant but the people behind the curtain over there told me to mention it when I got up the nerve to talk with you.
“Anyway, Joes are masculine, but in a good way. I’d never diss on our LGBTQ ‘community’, would I? I couldn’t care less whether a Joe becomes a ‘Josephine’ or whatever he/she wishes to call herself post transition. But if you’re born a ‘Joe’ you dang well better live up to the moniker. No joke.”
The chief executive dolt continued, undeterred by Manchin’s sighs and detectable finger drumming, “Joes don’t just get along -- they lead. They’re the first one in the foxhole and the last one off the battlefield. And they never cheat. Ever. ‘Shoeless Joe Jackson’ was a Joe, wasn’t he? So what that he got his butt kicked out of baseball a hundred years ago or however long it was? Have you seen ‘Field of Dreams’? That barefoot dude is bound to turn up anywhere, ain’t he?
Joe B didn’t stop there. “’If you build it, they will come’. That’s what we should start telling folks about my Build Back (More) Better program, don’t you think? I know you’ve had some objections to the bill but we can get past those because we’re Joes. And Joes don’t leave a room until they shake their manly hands, spit out their chaw and hitch up their belts, do they? That’s the way I see me n’ you, Joe. So let’s start talking again about jobs and universal childcare and medicine for your constituents. There’s no mountain that’s too high in your state.”
‘What the heck does this guy want from me? I didn’t sign up for the senate to be lectured on the history of Joes in this world. I’ve never even thought about my name, just that it seems to fit right in The Mountain State. I don’t care if his name is ‘Joe’ or not, if Biden were to go there now, he’d be taken out behind the mine shaft and taught a thing or two,’ Manchin supposed.
Despite Manchin’s hesitation, Biden couldn’t help himself. He always had to relay a personal story to put his audience to sleep before he got to the heavy stuff. “Someone once asked me about how I always managed to get along with everyone and I said it was because of two things.
“First was because my mom named me Joe. The other way was due to my uncanny ability to just talk and talk and talk without ever saying anything substantive -- or true. That ‘Corn Pop’ and rubbing my lifeguard hairy leg story I invented for those kids up in Delaware? A great tale, wasn’t it? I put ‘em at ease, didn’t I? I forgot what I was gonna say that day, but no one figured it out.”
“Mr. President,” Manchin interrupted at last. “I already went on TV and told Fox News that I was a definite ‘no’ on Build Back (More) Better. If I suddenly changed my mind because of what you’re trying to tell me, I would look like mud to the folks back home. Joes always keep their word, don’t they? Inflation is spiraling out of control and the last thing we need is to dump another couple trillion into the economy on stuff that will only make it worse.
“It’s bad enough that I got ‘Chucky’ and Pocahontas Warren and Dick Durbin and Bernie and Patty Murray breathing down my neck. I can’t make an exception for ‘voting rights’ or agree to reconsider your agenda. In my experience, if you have carve-outs you eat the whole turkey.”
Biden was befuddled. “What’s wrong with eating the whole turkey, Joe? I do it every Thanksgiving, including nibbling the last of the meat off the carcass with my bare teeth. People look at me strange, but who cares?
“At any rate, I just wanted to let ya know that I’ll be calling you now that the ‘cooling off period’ has expired. Oops, wasn’t s’posed to mention that. Just be thankful that you won’t be haunted by three spirits like I was these past two Christmases. Some say things return from the dead but that only happens in the Bible and at the movie theater. And now with Build Back (More) Better.
“Talk to ya soon, Joe. I’m still hoping you’ll let me take the Maserati out for a spin. I’m free most days if you’re up for it.”
--
No one who’s paid attention to American politics for the past few decades figured Democrats would drop the subject of Build Back (More) Better once Joe Manchin said unequivocally that he couldn’t support it. Last week’s news that senile Joe Biden and company plan to try again with a full-on lobbying/schmoozing effort is therefore no surprise. Will the pressure campaign cause Manchin to break?
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