“Let’s do it!”
One can only imagine what the internal White House deliberations over a potential Russian oil ban must’ve looked like earlier this week. Ever since Russian dictator president Vladimir Putin shocked no one by invading neighboring Ukraine two weeks ago, the west, including the United States, has been on a collective freakout over the notion that the bad guys have been funding their sinister schemes by selling energy to a thirsty (for oil) but anxious to purchase consumer world. Pardon the expression, but the Russians recognized they had energy dependent countries over a proverbial barrel, and they’ve used that leverage to do pretty much whatever they wanted for decades. Only now, peaceful nations are beginning to take notice and the objections are many.
The solution for the western populations seems obvious and simple -- stop buying the black stuff from the Russkis and therefore cut off the invader’s economic life blood while simultaneously putting enormous pressure on the ruling regime to hightail it out of Ukraine back across the border where they belong. Who needs talk about no-fly zones or beefing up the military resistance of NATO and the growing anti-Russian coalition of nations? It’s all about energy!
Not according to the mindlessly out-of-touch Democrats. They’re still obsessing over electric cars and climate change.
“Republican and conservative commentators are accusing Vice President Kamala Harris and Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg of being tone-deaf, given their recent focus on electric vehicles and not on soaring gas prices. Ms. Harris and Mr. Buttigieg faced blowback following an event Monday in which they promoted new spending included in the bipartisan infrastructure law and the American Rescue Plan directed toward transitioning the nation toward zero-emission vehicles, including electric buses, and creating a national network of electric vehicle chargers.
“’The Biden Administration could not be more tone deaf,’ given the way soaring gas prices are hitting people at the pump, Rep. Markwayne Mullin, Oklahoma Republican and a member of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, said in a statement. ‘Vice President Kamala Harris and DOT Secretary Pete Buttigieg spent the afternoon promoting electric vehicles and Green New Deal policies,’ Mr. Mullin tweeted Monday. ‘Are you kidding me?’
“Republicans say the Biden administration has embraced disastrous policies that have made the nation less energy independent. They say the nation must be focused on doing whatever it can to lower gasoline prices at home, which have been surging following the Russian invasion of Ukraine, putting added financial pressure on individuals and families across the United States.”
All of this is true. It’s a particularly bad time for Democrats to be pushing more “climate change” mitigation measures when gas prices are already so high and are bound to reach the outer atmosphere now that the Biden administration has decided to dampen supply even further by banning Russian oil imports. Faced with such dour prospects, did senile president Joe Biden have a choice but to go with a complete Russian oil embargo? Little is known of how decisions are made in the president’s tight sphere of influence, but it might’ve looked a little like this:
--Buuuuzzzz. “Yes Joe, what can I do for you?” answered a friendly-sounding voice on the other end of the executive mansion’s intercom line.
“Get someone from the energy department to send me a list of potential solutions to the Russian energy crisis,” Joe Biden asked hopefully. “While you’re at it, make sure they include proposals for lowering gas prices here in the good ‘ol U S of A too. I saw a news report that said they’re paying seven bucks a gallon out in California or something. That can’t be good for our electoral prospects this November.” “Yes sir, right away, Joe,” answered the anonymous staffer. “But I don’t know if the Energy Department is the right one to call. We might try the State Department or Commerce Department or Defense Department or Labor Department, or, who knows, maybe even ask Dr. Fauci at the NIH what he’d do to solve the problem. Don’t we have millions of gallons of vaccine leftover? Can’t you put that in a gas tank? Someone’s gotta know about oil prices.”
After a day or so Barack Obama showed up at his old office door, knocked and, upon seeing his former underling’s broad smile, entered the room. “Joe, your staff couldn’t find anyone to bring you data on oil purchases from Russia, so they called me and asked what I thought they should tell you about this whole shebang. So, me n’ Michelle threw together a little tip sheet to give you options. I printed it out on our home printer and decided to drop by personally to present it to you.”
Biden mimicked clapping like a seal in an ocean amusement park sideshow, complete with barking noises, so Obama went on.
“The way I see it, you’ve got just a few choices. This is a tough one, Joe. You see, way back when, when I was president and you were my right-hand man, we went around the country talking about this ‘climate change’ theory and folks in our party really started to take to it. Al Gore had called it Global Warming, but every time it snowed, people lost interest in the end goal, which was to tank the American economy. When that happened, we couldn’t possibly allow for more oil wells, even though this new ‘fracking’ and horizontal drilling technology allowed for pulling the valuable stuff out of the ground on a very narrow land footprint.
“Other technologies and discoveries demonstrated that we, meaning the American country, have enough natural gas and oil beneath our feet and along our shores to last for hundreds of years at current and future projected consumption rates. Together with our abundance of coal, we could tell the world to kiss our rear-os and never have to worry about heating our homes or putting inexpensive gas into our cars. You would think that we would’ve been ecstatic to hear such a thing, right?”
Biden shot the much younger man a puzzled look. “You mean we weren’t happy, Barry?” “No, we weren’t,” Obama replied tersely, starting to lose his cool. “More oil meant more carbon dioxide, which would warm the planet in like a thousand years, melt the polar ice caps and make all oceanfront property in places like Martha’s Vineyard seem more like islands in a vast prehistoric sea. So we made up these big lies and got a lot of gullible people to believe them. Bernie Sanders even says ‘climate change’ is the greatest existential threat to human existence. What a nutcase. You gotta love ‘im though!
“Then we went to big conferences with people from other countries and set limits on carbon emissions. We set up a huge poster of a Democrat donkey and took turns blindfolding ourselves, spinning each other around and trying to pin a tale on the thing. That’s how we determined how much carbon each country could burn. It was fun! I think John Kerry won the game.” Joe looked convinced. “It’s genius, boss! Where was I the whole time? When do I get a turn at the donkey’s hindquarters?”
“You don’t need one, Joe.” Obama responded patiently, like a nurse in a care facility answering a patient who’d wondered why bingo was cancelled for the evening. “We set levels for all countries and continents to observe, too. But somewhere along the line certain oil producers like OPEC and Russia just ignored us. They laughed at the limits and just kept pumping and pumping and selling and selling and denied that anything was going on with the atmosphere. Or ignorant savages like China said they would stop building coal-fired power plants in a hundred years or something.
“Europe and American Democrats got it. But nobody else paid any attention to us.”
At that, senile Joe stared down at the briefing book on his desk, marveling at the large print and cartoon pictures of oil wells and swamps and fossil fuels and a big Sinclair dinosaur that was made out to look like Barney from public broadcasting. What to do? Vladimir Putin is such a mean guy, ain’t he? No wonder Trump and him are such good buddies.
“So here’s what you’re gonna do, Joe,” Obama said forcefully but in a sing-songy voice so Biden wouldn’t break down in tears like he always used to. “We’re gonna have Jen Psaki announce that America won’t be buying Russian oil any longer. That’s it. No more. Nada. End of memo.
“At the same time, she’ll release a set of nine talking points for Nancy P. and Chucky Schumer to memorize and distribute to our honks in Congress. We’ll tell the world that the real answer to the energy crisis isn’t reopening our own domestic oil industry, but instead, we’ll dump more borrowed federal money into green boondoggles and electric cars. Kamala Harris and Pete Buttigieg will take the lead on promoting it.
“So what that all of the components for much of that green energy stuff is made in China, and that gas prices will double in the span of a month. The American public loves Ukraine, right? They may have to give up their cars and start hoofing it to work -- or ride a bike -- but that’s what we want anyway, isn’t it?”
Biden nodded in agreement. He’d always dreamed of getting rid of his awful gaudy presidential limousine in favor of an eight-horse drawn ornate carriage with spires and swirls. It’d be like King George III used to ride around in. The people would love it.
“Yeah, Barry. I’ve often thought the world would be a better place with going back to real horsepower, like when I was a boy. Greta Thunberg had that plastic sailboat, didn’t she? Why not eliminate combustion engines totally?”
“Uh-uh, bud,” Obama shot back. “Horses poop too much, and all that methane? That’s a greenhouse gas. So just ban Russian oil and we’ll go from there. We have no clue what any of this is going to do the American economy, but we’ll be okay, won’t we? The enlightened rich get richer and the poor, well, who cares what they get. We’re Democrats.
“Let’s do it!” “Consider it done, my friend,” Biden said, satisfied and relieved that he didn’t need to expend any more mental energy worrying about global oil supply any longer. Like always, Obama had made the world whole again.
--America and the world will soon find out what the unanticipated effects of banning Russian oil imports will be. The rationale for the policy is clear, but as with everything else that Joe Biden does, you wonder whether it was well thought through. One thing is certain: the Democrats’ energy philosophies have brought a world of hurt. How bad will it get?
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