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Assault on America, Day 681: When friendship isn’t good enough, the odd tale of lonely Joe Biden

Democrats shouldn’t be shocked if Republican don’t see RINO patronage offers as friendship

Friends? I’ll give you friends!” -- Becky Slater (Kevin Arnold’s girlfriend) of Wonder Years fame.


For non-fans of the classic 80’s and 90’s TV drama that doubled as a comedy, the above quote stems from a moment in the series where the main character, young teen Kevin Arnold, decided to dump his girlfriend of convenience, Becky Slater, in order to pursue his real love interest, Winnie Cooper. As would be expected, Slater didn’t take kindly to Kevin’s sudden (to her) change of heart, and instead of accepting his goodwill consolation prize offer to remain “friends”, she punched him square in the nose. Becky subsequently found other ways to take her revenge on poor Kev-bo. Just kids’ stuff, but has a real-life ring to it, doesn’t it?


The scene reminded me of the ongoing back-and-forth over this year’s presidential election, with Republicans continuing with a “wait and see” attitude towards the voting examinations, court cases and recounts taking place in a half dozen or so states. For their part, Democrats are going around acting as though the result is already set in stone, accusing President Donald Trump of delaying the inevitable and being a sore loser -- worse than Al Gore!


At several junctures, Democrats offered “friendship” to Republicans if the latter would just roll over and expose their underbellies to a quick and painless fatal knife blow. This bipartisan “healing” overture hasn’t been well received, however. Kind of like Becky Slater giving Kevin Arnold a fist between the eyes, Republicans aren’t in any mood to forgive and forget all the Democrats’ awful treatment from the past four-plus years (or is it more like forty-plus years?).


Democrats claim Grampa Joe Biden is considering tendering some of his administration’s patronage positions to Republicans, as if doing so would heal the nation’s wounds from decades of relentless partisan warfare. What a great guy, right? Wait ‘til you see who Joe’s got in mind to work for him. Scott Wong and Mike Lillis reported at The Hill, “Now President-elect Joe Biden, who called for ending this ‘grim era of demonization in America,’ is likewise signaling he might reach across the aisle to name Republicans to a Cabinet post and other key slots in his administration.


“It would be a return to bipartisanship, tradition and normalcy that has been missing in the Trump administration. President Trump, who vilified his Democratic opponents and still has not conceded his defeat to Biden, did not name any Democrats to his Cabinet during his four years in office…


“A Biden transition team source did not offer any GOP names but said: ‘Diversity of ideology and background is a core value of the transition, and is an important step in unifying the country under a Biden-Harris administration.’”


Biden campaign-speak is often hard to comprehend, so I’ll provide a translation of what the “transition team source” really meant by the above meaningless morsel of gobbledygook: “We’re looking for people who’ve said the greatest number of mean and untrue things about Donald Trump, and we’ll cull that list by the amount of verifiable lip prints appearing on the cusp of Joe Biden’s hindquarters. It’s more than just being opposed to the hated and reviled racist Donald Trump, you’ve got to be willing to put out and service the new guy. He demands it.”


That’s right, the ol’ hair sniffin’, shoulders massagin’, child repellin’, nude swimmin’, crack smokin’ and young girl molestin’ crooked son Hunter coddlin’, sexual assault denyin’ and back slappin’ good guy Biden wants to be friends again with GOPers. Don’t pay any mind to any of that “restore the soul of the nation” crapola; Republicans -- at least some of them -- are really just Democrats with nice haircuts, aren’t they?


Before you think that Grampa Joe’s come to his senses and is planning to invite the honorees at a Heritage Foundation awards banquet to join him in governing the country, get a gander at who is supposedly being vetted for potential slots in his junta. The Hill writers mentioned, in no particular order:


“Maverick” Trump-hating late senator John’s wife, Cindy McCain; former Sen. Jeff Flake, former Ohio Gov. John Kasich, current Maryland Governor Larry Hogan, current Massachusetts Gov. Charlie Baker, former eBay and Quibi CEO Meg Whitman, former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina, and former Pennsylvania Representative Charlie Dent. “Knowing Joe Biden I would be surprised if he doesn’t include Republicans in his Cabinet,” Sen. Ben Cardin (D-Md.) told reporters. “I think it’s very possible that he will because he’s going to want the very best.”


Cough, cough. Sorry, I had to swallow the lump of crud in my throat at Cardin’s inane quote. I must say, it isn’t often that I read what is supposed to be a serious attempt at journalism and end up laughing as though it was a real thought-through piece of political satire, but this is one such occasion. Every single “Republican” Wong and Lillis named has charter and exclusive membership in the RINO club of has-beens, losers and undesirables at best, and all compete for the Benedict Arnold award of irredeemable classic turncoats at worst.


In fairness, I’ll add a couple GOP possibilities for Grampa Joe. Senator Mitt Romney, who was the only Republican in either chamber to vote “yea” on impeachment, is ripe for the pickin’. But if Romney were tabbed and confirmed by the soon-to-be Republican majority senate, his seat would likely go to someone much more conservative and reasonable than he ever was. So, he’d never do it! And didn’t Biden and the Big “O” say all those horrible things about Mitt in 2012?


Then there’s former Tennessee senator Bob Corker, who “retired” in 2018 rather than face being kicked out by voters in a primary election. Corker only served a couple years in the senate with Biden himself, but his wishy-washy foreign policy views and backroom, sleazebag dealings in helping pass the Iran Deal are a HUGE plus in Biden-land! Irrelevant Bob has enough on-the-record anti-Trump statements to qualify him for a Biden chum, and once upon a time, weren’t there rumors that Trump was thinking about asking Corker to be his VP? Sounds like a prime candidate!


Would any Republican be soothed by Biden’s naming of any of these people to his administration? Anyone? Anyone? “Friends? I’ll give you friends!” -- PUNCH. &$&$*$*!!


Besides, Trump may not have named any Democrats (at least that I can think of) to his cabinet, but he did draw a couple names from the military and private sector that turned out to be Democrat-like thinkers. Among them, for his first Secretary of State, Trump drafted Rex Tillerson from the corporate world, probably figuring the man’s extensive travel and familiarity with global issues would be a supreme benefit in furthering the new administration’s foreign policy efforts. It didn’t turn out that way. Frustrated by Tillerson’s refusal to carry out the wishes of the elected commander in chief, Trump fired him. Not surprisingly, the media took Tillerson’s side in the dispute. Talk about sour grapes. Was Rex a secret Democrat?


Similarly, Trump chose retired Marine General James “Mad Dog” Mattis to head up the Pentagon as Defense Secretary. Democrats pecked Mattis to death during his confirmation hearings, yet he still acted as though the current liberal social trends should be part of military policy. When Mattis didn’t agree with Trump’s intention to draw down troops in the Middle East, it was time for the career officer to do something else with his time. If you can’t make war, what’s a neoconservative fighting general to do?


Those are just two examples. There’s been notable turnover in Trump’s first term because the swamp attitude is deep and entrenched and the president needed to find people who were open to a new way of thinking. Tillerson and Mattis weren’t good choices. Trump jettisoned them. Instead of being criticized for being a kneejerk reactionary and impossible man to work for, the president deserves praise for getting rid of the deadweight.


Like with everything else Biden says and does, his campaign’s floating of potential Republican appointees doesn’t accomplish much other than making the media feel better about slobbering over the senile old dolt as “President Elect.” We don’t even know if Joe will be given the opportunity to nominate anyone. Not even a RINO. What a farce.


Which RINOs would end up serving in the Biden administration?


Everyone knows Joe Biden values his lifelong friendships and good ‘ol boy relationships in the senate above anything else -- except maybe appeasing his liberal interest groups. Jeff Flake would make an excellent choice for Ambassador to China in a Biden administration because the man has no principles whatsoever and could be counted on to stick a knife in the back of anyone who once supported Trump. Flake not only rejected his fellow Republicans, he actively campaigned against some of them while still in office. An amnesty-loving, Kavanaugh questioning fool, Flake certainly proved that he has no spine.


Cindy McCain would be another excellent possibility for the Biden people. Since the two families have known each other for decades, they recognize that all those good times wouldn’t be for naught. And since Cindy helped break up John McCain’s first marriage, Joe Biden will find his home-wrecker soulmate in Cindy! (Meaning, Joe broke up Jill Biden’s first marriage) Never one to outwardly champion conservative causes, liberal beer distributor-heiress Cindy McCain will feel right at home touting Biden administration policies on a variety of topics. Johnny Mac was no stranger to corruption (Keating Five, remember?), so she’d look the other way at all the Hunter Biden stuff. Cindy M would be a terrific choice!


Pro-abortion Meg Whitman would be another great one. She doesn’t give a hoot about limited government or the conservative social cause, Whitman is a card-carrying member of the political establishment who could be counted on to do everything in her power to advance the influence of the swamp. Whitman was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and her long service on corporate boards and in politics (on both the McCain and Romney campaigns!) fits in perfect with the Democrat Party’s new fondness for really, really rich people who happen to be liberal.


Not to be outdone by any of the others, John Kasich would be a great choice to suck-up to Joe Biden. The former Ohio governor and hanger-on 2016 Republican presidential candidate knows what it’s like to not concede anything and live in a parallel universe. Kasich could be appointed to the unofficial post of “Kumbaya officer”, in charge of annoying and pestering conservative Republicans about “tone” and “coming together.”


There are a number of wimpy sell-out Republicans who could be useful to Biden. Go ahead and take ‘em Joe, we don’t want ‘em anymore!


Ol’ Grampa Joe expecting Republicans to come around, work with him


Whether it was true or not, the senator version of Joe Biden was known for his good relationships with colleagues from both sides of the aisle. As I’ve pointed out numerous times, however, part of these chummy-chummy good feelings was attributable to the fact they’d worked together so long in the good ol’ boys club that is the senate that they were practically family.


As president, Biden expects the same. First, he has to win. Then he gets a reality check. David Sherfinski and Seth McLaughlin reported at The Washington Times, “Presumptive President-elect Joseph R. Biden on Tuesday predicted that congressional Republicans will ultimately come around to acknowledge him as the new president and work with him in January.


“’They will. They will,’ a grinning Mr. Biden told reporters before leaving the stage at the Queen Theater, a historic movie house in Wilmington, Delaware, that serves as a transition headquarters.


“Earlier, he said much of the Republican Party is intimidated by President Trump but that he himself is by nature ‘not a pessimist.’ ‘I think there are enough Republicans who’ve already spoken out … there’ll be a larger number once the election is declared and I’m sworn in to be able to get things done,’ he said. ‘I think we can get a lot done.’”


I think Joe will find being president isn’t the same as being a senator. In the upper chamber, a little horse trading is to be expected if you hope to get what you want on a bill. As president, your signature commands a lot more power. In the new Donald Trump-steered Republican Party, most senators are more inclined to fight for what they want rather than automatically cave to the whims of the establishment.


Republicans always become more fiscally conservative when they don’t hold the White House. Democrats should’ve taken advantage of Trump’s willingness to spend and bargain. It’s a lot less likely that Mitch McConnell will so easily give in when he’s seen as the last line of defense. The Kentucky senator is probably going to be the most powerful politician in Washington, with yea or nay power on almost all legislation. Assuming Republicans gain one of the two Georgia run-off seats, “Cocaine” Mitch will control the senate calendar.


Bye-bye “Biden care”. So long “Green New Deal.” Hello, keeping Trump tax cuts. “Hey Mitch, there’s a call from President Joe.” “Tell him to wait, I’m getting a foot massage.”


Because Joe Biden has enjoyed so much success over the years accomplishing little to nothing, he probably thinks his presidency would be a cakewalk. Republicans are far from convinced that he is the new president much less his having a mandate to dictate things. Grampa Joe wants to be “friends” -- but he might just receive a proverbial punch in the nose instead.

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